Misconceptions About Those Who Have a Preference for Introversion

“Introverts living under the Extroversion Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform”

- Susan Cain

I recently had a discussion with my father after reading this Buzzfeed article that lists some popular myths about introverts. My Dad, but don’t tell him this, is quite a smart and knowledgeable person and introversion and extroversion are topics that he knows a fair bit about. He said that the first problem with the labels introvert and extrovert are that they are absolutes. Realistically, no one is entirely one but not the other as we all have a bit of both in our personalities, however, what we do have is what he defined as a preference for either introversion or extroversion. He said that your preference depends on where you get your energy from, so a person with a preference for extroversion gets their energy from being around other people and a person with a preference for introversion gets their energy from being alone, but not in a depressing way.

This description really helped me understand some of my own personality traits and reassured me that there isn’t anything wrong with me (which was my previous mentality), I just have a preference for introversion.

But the main problem with the labels introvert and extrovert are the connotations that come with them. So coming from the perspective of someone who has a preference for introversion, let me take you through a few of these and tell you what it’s really like.

1. We don’t have friends/are loners

I actually have a lot of really great friends and I value them highly, but at the same time I do like to be alone. This does not make me a loner, but rather a person with a preference for introversion, and we should not be called weird or perceived as socially inept because of this. I am someone who has truly wonderful friends and loves to be around them, but I also need and value my time by myself reading, watching movies, playing/listening to music, making videos, writing or just relaxing.

2. We don’t like to go out

I love going out! I really do, movies, concerts, dinners, but I just don’t like to be out for as long as some of my friends who have preferences for extroversion would like to be. The Buzzfeed article put it well by saying that we need to ‘recharge’, as in I am happy to go out with friends, but there is a certain point when I need to go home and be by myself in a comfortable environment and recharge my batteries for the next time I go out.

3. We’re shy/rude

I have never really been a very confident person when it comes to social interaction. Give me a stage to perform on or a speech to present and I’m fine, but unplanned, spontaneous interaction has never been my forte. I have also always been okay with silence, as in the times when some people feel the need to say “awk-ward…” are, for me, just times when I have nothing to say. This often leads to internal anxiety for me as I think that the other person must think I am rude because I am not engaging in social pleasantries like small talk, which, personally I find more awkward than silence. But the reality is, people with preferences for introversion may appear to be shy but all we really need is a purpose for social interaction so if we are not saying much or standing on the outskirts it’s not because we’re rude, I swear!

Also if you want to talk to a person who has a preference for introversion the best thing you can do is just go up to them and TALK TO THEM. Cut the crap and don’t beat around the bush and there will be nothing awkward about it.

People like me who have preferences for introversion are going against social norms because these social norms were created by people who have preferences for extroversion. Personally I am sick and tired of trying to conform and I find it exhausting constantly trying to fit in, so from this point onwards I am going to embrace my introversion and not feel shame or embarrassment in going to breakfast with a book by myself or choosing to stay in and watch movies instead of go out, but most importantly I am not going to think there is anything wrong with me anymore because “I'm not different for the sake of being different, only for the desperate sake of being myself."

-Vivian Stanshall

The 2013 Academy Awards- Did Seth MacFarlane Bring Sexism to the Show, or was it Already There?

I was looking forward to watching Seth MacFarlane host the 85th Academy Awards this year.
I was expecting him to bring a new, fresh brand of humour to the show and eliminate the overly cheesy segments and musical numbers which, nearly every year, make both the viewers and attendees squirm.
But I'm afraid I feel slightly let down.

Initially I was enjoying his jokes and delivery, and people must remember that in order for a person to be funny it does occasionally have to be at the expense of others, it just depends on whether they decide the cross the ever-so-present socially accepted 'line'. Which at certain points, from the reaction of both the audience and online community, it appears Mr. MacFarlane did.
It was really invigorating to see the social media uproar at the some of the sexist "jokes" throughout the evening and I was so pleased that women and men all over the world weren't blindly accepting the comments that could have previously gone unnoticed.

I think MacFarlane is a clever, funny man, and obviously I don't know him personally but he doesn't seem like a sexist or mysoginist, but seriously, he thinks it's okay to tell "jokes" like that in 2013!?
The boobs song was not just an incredibly awkward part of the show's opening, but also an example of the objectification of women and how if a woman appears nude in a film, she will never hear the end of it. I would like to hear if MacFarlane and his co-writers ever considered writing a penis song or if boobs were always the plan. 
I'm not going to lie, initially I chuckled at the comment about a "woman’s innate ability to never let anything go" in reference to Zero Dark Thirty, but after perusing Twitter I reconsidered my laugh as I considered the stereotype MacFarlane was presenting. 

There were other blatantly and potentially sexist "jokes" made throughout the evening which I won't bother going into more detail about, but what we should remember is that MacFarlane didn't bring sexism to the Academy Awards. 
The whole red carpet event is an example of how women are judged, compared and only acknowledged based on their appearance. The follow up "best/worst dressed" lists and television shows like Fashion Police are examples of the cruelty from both women and men towards (almost entirely) women based on what they wore to an event which is designed to recognise them for their WORK not their LOOKS. 

But I do think another reason people were so angered by sexism in this awards show in particular could also have something to do with the lack of female nominees. In the "major categories" there were no female nominees for directing or editing and only 1 for writing. How is this still the case in 2013?

REFERENCE: http://www.btchflcks.com/2013/01/this-needs-no-explanation.html 

Are women just naturally worse filmmakers than men? Or is there an underlying sexism in the film industry that prevents women from getting the opportunity to make great films, whether that be funding, equipment, crew, actors or just acknowledgement in general. 

This is a much bigger issue that I sadly don't see being resolved in the next 5, 10 or even 20 years, but something Seth MacFarlane should definitely be proud of (other than accomplishing the mammoth task of hosting the Oscars) is that he has managed to prove that sexism really doesn't and shouldn't have a place at the Academy Awards anymore. 

But will it be different next year?